After missing the 2025 sign-ups for indoor soccer and introductory robotics, Sara Squibs is preparing her eight-year-old for a life on the margins. Admitting that she previously wondered whether the anxious jostle for after-school activities was driven mainly by Type-A individuals trying to out-parent each other, the disgraced mom is now aware that her child’s only career path involves stealing copper from construction sites. “Sadly, having also missed the cutoff for All-Star Mathematics,” said Squibs. “My daughter may not even know if her fellow hobos are splitting the can of beans evenly.”
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Gentle-Parented Child Sure Hits Pretty Hard
Collection of wooden toys mostly used as weapons
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