Man Driving Normal Car in Marin County Wanted for Questioning

Authorities are looking to speak to the owner of a standard gas-powered sedan after receiving reports from alarmed residents about an individual driving around Marin in a completely sensible automobile. “Really disturbing,” said one witness. “What kind of psycho drives a 2019 Toyota Camry?”

Locals say it can be alarming to see such a nondescript vehicle in Marin County, as it gives no indication as to who the owner is and what they’re all about. “If it's not a status symbol, doesn't communicate 'values' or speak to some kind of outdoorsy lifestyle, we're left with a terrifying blank slate," said Greer Farland. "A Rivian, for example, does all three," he added, but explained that there's no need to break the bank. "Even something as simple as a Subaru hatchback, with its sapphic, crunchy aura, tells us a reassuring story."

Police agree with the assessment. “Unless fitted with an Uber sticker, a run-of-the-mill four-door is a highly suspicious mode of transportation in this area,” said officer Skip Forsini. “We’re not saying he’s a murderer, but it’s weird and we want to know why he’s doing it.”