Every year, residents and officials gather at Sausalito’s city hall ($6/hr, 9am-6pm incl. Sundays), to see which of its parking enforcement officers will bring home the town's highest honor.

This year's winner, Frank Rune, was something of a dark horse to due to troubling rumors that he let a struggling mother off with a warning this summer. But insiders say Rune clinched the title in December at Sausalito’s Lighted Boat Parade, by all accounts a disappointing holiday spectacle at which spectators were mercilessly ticketed. “That was all Frank,” said one of this year’s judges. “They say he ran out of paper that night.”

For those unfamiliar with the gelato-hawking, pelican-turd-covered hamlet, its only idea besides selling sweatshirts that say "Sausalito" is placing insatiable parking meters anywhere it thinks someone who's there to meet a friend for an overpriced lunch last week might want to leave their car for a minute — then sending its trike-riding busybodies over to ruin his day when he loses track of time. God forbid anyone forget they're always on a timer in this town.

Marin Lately is committed to objectivity in its reporting, which is yet another reason to stay on our good side.