Avalanche of Gifts Exactly What Marin’s Children Needed
Psychologists analyzing the post-holiday status of Marin children were surprised to discover that the truckload of toys, sports equipment and electronics recently bestowed on the group have had overwhelmingly positive effects. “Like everyone else, we assumed that this demographic was fully saturated, and that any additional windfall would be problematic,” said researcher John McDonell. “We were wrong. They have seamlessly absorbed the latest offering and report feelings of temporary but significant contentment.” The study indicates that this cohort may be unique in its ability to both have and want virtually everything imaginable. “The answer for these particular kids really does appear to be ‘more stuff,’”
Nation Savored Marin’s Brief Encounter with Hardship
Media pollsters say people across the country enjoyed news reports showing Marin inundated by floods, with respondents saying they found it soothing to imagine the county's smug residents struggling haplessly with sandbags or trapped on a freeway. Some were disappointed by the short duration of the crisis and the fact that it was limited to low-lying areas, but even those let down by the scale of devastation called the region’s rare brush with adversity a “great start.” Notably, while there was universal support for the submersion of Mill Valley, many of those surveyed expressed regret that the deluge affected the kind, hard-working people of Corte Madera.
Marin County Now Single-Handedly Funding, Consuming NPR
New disclosures from National Public Radio show that the organization is currently underwritten exclusively by Marin County. “It’s no secret that this area is our primary source of funding, as it's home to the only people who ever respond to our pledge drives, “ said a spokesperson for NPR. “In fact, a large chunk of our budget comes directly from Linda and Gene Horset, of Sausalito.”
More surprising is the fact that Marin's residents also now comprise the entirety of NPR's listenership. “Due to federal funding cuts, we stopped broadcasting nationally several months ago,” he continued, explaining that what Marin residents have been hearing on NPR since then are little shows made just for them. “That’s why there have been so many stories about birds recently,” he added.
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