Defending Children's Rights to Ride Motorcycles
(They're under threat)
Dear readers,
Our mission at Marin Lately has always been to serve and alarm this community. In the course of successfully completing that mission, we have published any number of upsetting news stories. But none more retroactively poignant than this one:
To be dangerously frank with you, we never thought that day would actually come. We assumed outraged families would fight to end the long history of discrimination against children re: motorcycles (which goes back, cruelly, to the invention of the technology). In a very real sense, our reporting was meant to drum up that very outrage.
Now, unfortunately – as we warned, but certainly not as the founders intended – police in Mill Valley have begun seizing motorcycles from children. And not just any children.
Our children.
Specifically, our son.
After raising awareness about this important issue affecting our family, we received an outpouring of support, as well as an inpouring of less supportive comments. Some of these latter have been very hurtful to our son, who in the wake of the confiscation has been forced to ride a very embarrassing “regular old bicycle” to school.
We also shared our story with news outlets, joining a growing chorus of parents speaking out about this important transportation-rights issue.
We are prepared to take this fight all the way to the Supreme Court, which is now stacked with justices who probably consider childhood access to e-hogs to be inalienable. If that fails, we plan to write a letter to you-know-who. We believe he will be inclined to pardon our son and order the immediate release of the motorcycle.
Thank you to those of you who have supported us during this difficult time, and we hope this goes some way towards explaining “what’s going on with us.”
If we'd just get all those thoughtless pedestrians off the walking paths, the e-hogs would no longer be an issue. Or else require everybody on foot to move at least 20 mph.
I went to college in Illinois, where there were no rules about motorcycles. As in, no helmuts required. I used to ride my motorcycle wearing cutoffs and sunglasses. And that was it. Barefoot and shirtless. I was too selfish to realize how awful this must have been for anyone unfortunate enough to have to look at me. Ultimately I crashed a BMW 650 at 40 mpg, which explains the scars and brain damage. For those who are concerned, the bike was fine, which was very fortunate, since I had borrowed it from a friend.