Introducing: Ask Marin Lately
Your timely questions, our magnificent answers
Way-Less Animals?
Dear Marin Lately,
I’m worried about Waymo’s expansion to Marin County, now that their robo-taxis have been connected to a string of animal deaths in San Francisco. What does this mean for our local wildlife?
Linda R., Point Reyes
Though its driverless cars have proved they have no problem taking out a cat, and more recently a small dog, Waymo is not going to be a solution to Marin’s wildlife infestation. The reasons for this are mostly technical, with the company explaining that turkeys are too large for its vehicles to process (they get caught in the wheel wells, leading to delays for passengers), while deer and other unwanted woodland creatures have learned to recognize the malevolent hum produced by its fleet.
Excitingly, however, Waymo has confirmed that its pet-crushing services will be included from “day one” in the Marin rollout. “Just leave them out in the road for us,” says their spokesperson.
No County for Cold Men
Dear Marin Lately,
It has been very cold in Marin recently. Am I entitled to compensation?
Brent L., Tiburon
From what meteorologists can gather, abnormal wind patterns have resulted in unpleasant weather intended for hardier people/less affluent regions being delivered to Marin County. Unfortunately, that means the denizens of those downtrodden areas are enjoying our mild winter temperatures at a steep discount. But good luck getting anything out of them.
The Neediest Cases
I want to be conscientious about what gifts I buy for my kids this holiday season. What kind of car should I get my son?
Kayla B., Ross
While there are more eco-friendly options out there than ever, our top pick for Marin teens is still the 2025 Ford Bronco. In addition to being the car that they specifically asked for, and that Bryce’s parents got him, the Bronco isn’t even that expensive. We recommend the removable hard-top version for adolescents, which provides superior ventilation for vape fumes.
Have questions for Marin Lately? Email us immediately: tips@marinlately.com
Waymo is a toy of the broligarchy, and is run by a cabal of coyotes. Where do you think the squirrel carcasses go?
Dear Readers,
If you are only gifting your offspring with one (1) car (singular), perhaps best not to publicly shame him or her here. Why not gift them a public transport card instead, for maximum faux humility?
With kind regards from a "hardier" person enjoying your milder winter climate.